Guys, I figured out the key to happiness. Turns out it’s all about giving your power away to things like brand new furniture (and then hoping the joy lasts longer than the 12 minutes it took them to unload the stuff).
Just kidding (though how great does this yellow couch and floral pattern chair look in our house?!).
Actually, what I’ve really found to help improve my happiness is when you:
- Recognize you don’t know what will actually make you happy. (Seriously, the number of times I thought a grade, new job, boyfriend, or publication would make me happy and then didn’t is embarrassingly high.)
- Stop looking for your happiness outside yourself. No other person, child, circumstance, amount of money can make you happy long-term.
- Stop lying to yourself and pretending you’re happy when you’re not.
- Take responsibility for yourself and realize that no one can “make” you feel anything unless you already feel that way about yourself however deep down.
- Accept reality as it is and not what you think it should be.
- Stop numbing yourself from the “negative” emotions using TV, audiobooks, music, work drama, or whatever else. Feel your feelings.
- Clear your held trauma (that shit you never processed growing up is stuck in your body and wreaking havoc on your life now).
- Get to know yourself better. How can you get your needs met if you don’t even know what they are?
- Notice every time you add to your “must-happen-before-I-can-be-happy” list and celebrate everything you’ve achieved so far. How freaking happy would the 23-year-old version of you be to be where you are today?
- Choose to be. Every day. No matter what’s going on around you.
And if any of that is too damn hard, don’t worry, you’re not alone. Check out my friend, @therealritahenry, and her program. It’s the best thing I’ve found to clear my shit and actually lean into being happy.
Oh, and to stop buying crap I didn’t need, to stop feeling anxious 24/7, and to stop complaining every time things didn’t go my way (at least I think it did, but you can confirm with my mother on that).
